Alternate Ouran Scenes
by LightTheJeenius
Summary: When you get hyped on sugar your mind usually does some weird things. This is what mine does. Join Light, Kyoya and the rest of the Host Club as we look at how some Ouran scenes could have gone differently if my OCs were cannon.


**A/N: I am a monster for thinking of this.**

 **Also could be called: In Which Jeenius memes the fuck out of Ouran scenes**

* * *

-Slap scene-

Tamaki was angrily yelling at his father...or towards his father's direction because Haruhi was being involved with something stupid when a loud resounding crack echoed through the room. Everyone turned to find Kyoya had just been slapped by his father. Everything looked like it had been brought into slow motion.

Before thins could get too serious the room heard Light, off in the distance singing. "Mmm whatcha saaaaaaay. Mmm that you only meant well? Well, of course you did. Mmm whatcha saaaaay. Mmm that it's all for the beeeeeest!"

When she saw everyone in the room was staring at her she stopped. "Is this a bad time?" she asked.

"YES!" yelled Tamaki, annoyed she was making fun of his best friend in a situation like this.

"But I only meant well." Light said, pouting like a child.

An exasperated Yoshio Ootori rolled his eyes at her. Well to him Light was also a him but you get the idea. He rolled his eyes because Light was being annoying when he was trying to discipline his son. Man did his son have a horrible taste in friends.

"But of course you did." Mr Ootori said, sarcastically.

Light tried to contain her laughter when she heard the great Yoshio Ootori. Oh man he just walked right into that one easily. Light's friends were already trying to contain their laughter and horribly failing at doing so. She exchanged glances with Penny and Ally, knowing they knew what to do next.

"MMM THAT IT'S ALL FOR THE BEEEEEEEEST!" they scream-sang.

Mr Ootori looked extremely distraught that he was easily tricked into being memed by Light Minasae. He never knew that she was the meme queen did he? Nope because he didn't care about Kyoya's friends if they had no benefit to him and because Light was apparently 'not worth knwoing'.

"Get dunked on."

* * *

-THAT scene-

"I guess I never realized how nice you are Kyoya-sempai." Haruhi said.

 _wHAT?! I almost...what the FUCK?!_

Blah blah blah dialogue I don't remember.

"Kyoya do you have any lotion?" asked Tamaki from the other side of the door.

Tamaki then proceeded to let himself into Kyoya's room and talked about sunburns or something, stopping when he noticed Haruhi and Kyoya alone in the room...in the dark. Oh man here comes more pointless blathering.

Oh wait never mind Kyoya just bitch slapped Tamaki in the face with a bottle of lotion. He had his own business to take care of with a certain other female. Of course the same trick wouldn't work twice so he's have to think of something along the way.

He almost had a good idea, until he met up with Lexie. She didn't look too happy, which wasn't much of surprise when it came to her. She was about to tell him something important, but ended up getting distracted by the hideous things on Kyoya's feet.

"Kyoya..." she said.

He made a noise of acknowledgment, wanting to get this over with quicker.

"WHAT ARE THOSE?!" she yelled, pointing at his sandals and running away quickly.

He stood there for a moment trying to find whatever words he would have said to her if she had stayed. The best he could come up with was something Light would approve of, which was why he never ended up saying anything.

And now since he lost all train of thought of his revenge plans against Light he guessed he had to use his old idea. What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

-The mall-

Light groaned, stretching her body. She didn't remember falling asleep sitting up, and usually it was never this painful. She opened her eyes and found she was in a shopping mall. Blinking to make sure she wasn't dreaming, she looked around and found herself most definitely in a shopping mall and Kyoya sleeping right beside.

She snorted loudly at the sight of the sleeping host, a little too loudly maybe. It woke up the Shadow King, much to his displeasure. She found it understandable because she was also in the same situation, but she never thought she could take Kyoya any less seriously than before until now.

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty." she sarcastically cooed at him.

"What the hell do you want?" he asked, upon seeing Light's face.

"Ha, those idiots dragged us here so we're gonna give them a little bit of pay back. Now come on. I want to get this over with so I don't have to hang out with you longer than necessary." she replied.

Ouch. Apply cold water directly to that burn.

Sometime later, Haruhi found her two arguing upperclassmen and reluctantly let them join her for the day. After that the two older teenagers didn't cease their bickering and Kyoya even added some insults towards fast food. That was about the only thing they agreed on all day. After that they continued to argue, annoying Haruhi even more.

Kyoya also had some moments where he truly became a demon, scaring some children and all and all being a weird fuck.

Light could feel a song coming, which she was happy to be able to sing. She was waiting for an opportunity like this all day long.

"So be prepared because I am the bad guy! Be prepared for me to do bad guy thiiiiiings! BE PREPAAAAAAAAAAARED!" she sang.

A lot of the people Kyoya would deem 'commoners' all understood the reference she was making. Hell even Haruhi did, yet poor Kyoya had no idea what she was talking about. He mumbled something rude under his breath about her, hoping she didn't hear anything.

Unfortunately...

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?" she sang.

Shit.

* * *

-Physical exams-

Kyoya was trying to kindly tell Light and Haruhi about the 'Special Boys Clinic', but a certain Canadian was too busy being mesmerized by something else.

She was staring at Kyoya for an uncomfortably long time, which he eventually noticed when his words began trailing off. Haruhi had never even noticed her sempai was staring until Kyoya stopped talking and frowned at Light.

"What the FUCK IS UP WITH YOUR ARM?! Do you always dislocate it like that?" she screamed, pointing at Kyoya's arm which was in fact in an ungodly angle.

Kyoya looked at his arm before screaming bloody murder and running away.

* * *

-The twins fight-

*Megalovania intensifies*

* * *

-Cross dressing scene-

After all was said and done, the host club dressed as girls to get Haruhi back. I honestly have no idea why they thought this would work. It boggles my mind even more that it did work. Regardless they were doing it.

Singing ensued and left Haruhi with a severe loss of words, and the Zuka club with too many words.

"My dears, you've all lived sheltered lives at Lobelia so you don't know commoners have a weakness for free things." Tamaki said, posing overly dramatic.

"Actually in Canada we just take it if it's free and we don't ask questions. Also Kyoya have you found my...what the ever loving fuck are you doing?" asked Light, waling into the wrong at the worst time possible.

All heads turned towards the other crossdressing female, who was sans a hat at the moment making it clear she was a girl.

"Did no one tell Light?" asked Tamaki.

"Guilty." the twins said, raising their hands.

"No." Mori hummed.

"Sorry Tama-chan." Hunny apologized.

"Not my priority." Kyoya deadpanned.

While they were all doing this Light snapped a picture, nondiscretely, with an evil smile on her face.

"This is going on my tumblr."

After the Zuka club left, and they finished mopping up Haruhi's tears most of the host club went to change out of their dresses. Kyoya was busy financing or something in his notebook still clad on his purple dress. Light tried to surpress the laughter in her as she walked up to her acquaintance.

"So...pray thee do tell, m'lady, what merits did you gain by wearing thy garbs of femininity?" Light asked, in a horrible British accent, while tipping a fedora she'd found lying around.

Kyoya slowly looked up to glare at the snarky teenager. He found her grinning madly at him, before pulling out her phone and grinning wider. Sh finally let out the laugh she was holding in for a while looking at something.

Kyoya's raised eyebrows was the only indication she needed.

"You're internet famous now." she said, showing him the many reblogs, likes and notes she was receiving on the picture she posted on tumblr. She laughed again, not in the usual obnoxious way. This way was a laugh that he could call...cute maybe?

Nah.

"Take that off the internet right now." Kyoya hissed.

"Even if I do other people have reblogged it. You're gonna be ultra famoose now." she replied.

Kyoya tried his best to keep calm, which was an amazing feat because he was close to ripping her head off. His reputation would be ruined if someone who knew him saw that picture.

"Easy there, sunshine. If it makes you feel better people are saying the one in the purple dress is the cutest." she said, raising her hands up in defeat.

Kyoya's head hit the table, which also had the feeling of being warm which he did not like.

Light laughed again at his misfortune, patting the human calculator o the back. "I'd have to agree too." she whispered in his ear.

She then ran off, laughing obnoxiously, to meet up with her friends leaving a flustered Kyoya to his work.

 **A/N: That's all the Ouran scenes I feel like fucking up. Have a nice day!**


End file.
